


Different Kind of Hunger

by flying_one



Category: Snowpiercer (2013)
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 05:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1497844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flying_one/pseuds/flying_one
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curtis doesn't know how it happened</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different Kind of Hunger

 

Curtis doesn’t know how it happened  
doesn’t know when he changed  
knows that it should have been  
that moment, locking eyes  
the baby looking back  
knows that it wasn’t

Edgar lives, smiles, breathes  
watching him grow  
opens old wounds  
and says how could you  
want to kill this boy

now Curtis wants him in another way  
still wants to taste him but  
never to harm  
still wants to bite  
but gently  
still full of hunger  
but for something else

he keeps away  
and looks away  
his fingers trace  
the broken skin  
the arm he couldn’t  
sacrifice  
rift in the surface  
of his arm  
rift in his life

nights turn to days  
turn into nights  
inside this cage of steel  
no one can really tell  
and Edgar grows  
despite the meagre food

when Curtis talks  
he catches every word  
eyes glowing with  
an appetite  
for revolution

but being idolised  
feels every kind of wrong  
and Curtis doesn’t know  
how to keep going

he wants so much  
to touch  
pull Edgar close  
apologise  
for every day  
he almost took  
for just one day  
of satisfaction

but he can never  
make it up to him  
cannot expect  
to be forgiven  
and never can  
forgive himself

for years he tries to hide  
but on a narrow train that’s  
lost all privacy  
not running into Edgar  
is impossible

it feels like  
running into knives  
until running  
becomes  
hands running  
through hair  
time running  
through hands

smile running  
across Edgar’s face  
playing against Curtis’ neck  
ragged breathing  
from the upper bed

he wants to tell him  
I’m not who you think I am  
you shouldn’t worship me  
the way you do  
and if you knew  
you’d never look at me again

but never does  
his lips stay closed  
he doesn’t want to  
lose this boy who  
means the world to him

until one day  
his hands are  
drenched in blood  
clutching an axe  
and Edgar looks at him  
looks at him long enough  
to be completely clear  
that he has always known

and never cared

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this directly after watching the movie, but didn't have the courage to post it.  
> Thanks to http://brentofthefabulouswild.tumblr.com, who read it first, for motivating me to put it up.


End file.
